Hitting the ground running...

So when I first became engaged this past July, I hit the ground running...and by running I mean in a Usane-Bolt-kind-of-way. Everyone thought I was crazy to lock in our venue, church, photographer, band, color-scheme, etc, so quickly. I had a method to my madness - I did NOT want to be tackling wedding to-do's over the holidays (specifically the time between Thanksgiving and New Year's). Truth be told, I am glad I did it my way - it has left me with a fair amount of sanity (thought some might argue differently), and time with my fiance!

Also - any future bride to be can go loony over the bountiful choices that bombard engaged couples. So, I offer my helpful tidbits.
*Disclaimer: I am not a wedding planner with years of experience, but I am a bride that very much believes in a gut instinct and not getting roped into too many choices or busting the bridal budget!*

1. Limit the number of people that accompany you to various key appointments. These are meetings such as bridal gown browsing, venue searching, and florist visits. More people=more opinions=harder to decipher what YOUR (and your fiance's) true feelings are! Originally I felt bad that I did not include more people in my decisions, but now I am happy I decided while I knew what I wanted, and not what everyone else thought I wanted...

2. If it looks good, feels good, and seems good, it probably is...and you should book it! I could have looked at a dozen venue sites - but the golf course where he proposed had a site that overlooked our proposal site - hello??? Of COURSE I made it easy and toured the reception site, asked the questions, looked at the budget, etc....when it all matched - I said "yes!"

3. Don't feel the need to compare/contrast your friend's weddings to yours, and don't "outdo" anyone else! I have a close friend who was desperate to make sure her wedding was perfect and stood up against her friend's nuptials. The truth is, after the happy couple says their vows, seals it with a kiss, dines and toasts with guests, and tears it up on the dance floor - the other "extras and decor" are just icing on the proverbial cake. If it doesn't have a special meaning to you, don't spend the money to impress your friends. They are already impressed you have found a love so great you want to spend forever with that person - so just be happy!

These are my loose wedding planning commandments, and I vow (as a present bride-to-be) to do my best to hold true to them!

What about you guys? Any tidbits your friends and family shared to keep you sane through the planning process? Anything you wish they would have said?

What? There are non-wedding related things in the world?

Before I became a full-time bride, I once enjoyed witty blogs to break up my day. That being said, I still have a few that I follow through my igoogle (have you tried it? sooo addictive!) They are as follows:

3FatChicks - This is a great weight loss website full of other blogs from men and women fighting the bulge. There once was a blog entitled "Those pants don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat" - which is albeit, a long title for a blog, but still hilarious (and oh so true).
Anyways, take a look and perhaps start your own witty entries on how you fight the bulge.

Penelope Trunk's Brazen Careerist - one word, fabulous. She writes on how to balance work and personal lives, how to be a kick-ass woman and still be fabulous in your own right, etc. I find it to be a lovely break from my wedding planning, because it reminds me that I do have a career to chase concurrently with planning my nuptials.

Personal Branding Blog - With all the constant chatter of wedding monograms, etc (I love a good monogram - don't get me wrong) - how about some own PERSONAL branding? Like - you - the career minded individual who has dreams and hopes for their future? Here they discuss great topics and source interviews with wonderfully innovative people - check it out if you need a good read.

Wiki How - How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee for updating me on how to ride a bull without making an ass of myself, or how to knit a crochet square, how to make oatmeal in the hotel coffee maker in my room, or how to get rid of stretch marks (not that I have any presently). : ) Always good for an enlightening tidbit.

Women's Health Magazine - As a subscriber to a number of female health and fitness-minded magazines, I somehow always come back to Women's Health. Perhaps it is their no-holds-barred approach to fitness and advice, or how they always manage to be truthful (let's face it - losing weight and looking good is not as easy as 30 minuts of Pilates and a Mediterranean diet). Whatever their source of infinite wisdom and inspiration, it often inspires me the way Jillian from Biggest Loser does when she is in a moment of fitness-rage. : ) I say this all, of course, as I eat a chocolate Santa and stare at my uber-fitted mermaid wedding gown. *grin*

Gushing...

Okay, I have to gush over my photographer, Lisa Hessel. She took our engagement photos, and will be doing our wedding next summer! After sifting through many photographers, I finally found her - and she was truly a breath of fresh air! Her husband is also a photographer, and they will shoot our day in tandem - splitting up to shoot the guys/girls/etc, which is just fabulous! Lisa travels for shoots - so if you have a photography need, I HIGHLY suggest taking a look! Please give all photo credit to Lisa Hessel Photography.

Return to sender...

I did the DIY project, I diligently addressed the envelopes and fought tooth and nail with my printer, I lovingly applied postage, and gently placed them into the mailbox to be delivered to our wedding guests and family.

Then it happened....

The RTS stamp from the post office, accompanied by my lovely save the dates and the addresses that no longer were. WHY would someone give me the wrong address? I only ordered a set number, and had planned on cutting costs by mailing them to "The Smith Family" - more formality planned for the invites. Now I have to go back through, make more envelope liners, hope I have enough envelopes, and re-send them? Ugh!

Has anyone else had family send them the incorrect address? How hard is it to make sure the numbers on the outside of the house match those in your composed email?
Okay, that is my bridezilla rant of the day....calmness will resume shortly...

DIY for the first time...

Last I left off I was fighting the epic envelope battle of '08, and I think I finally won! Having given in to my 4-bar size envelopes that were indeed a hair too small (boo Kodak, shame on you for cheaping out) - I tried to make them at least look gaw-gous if they were too small! Kind of like that LBD that is just a hair too tight, so you make up for it with great shoes and fabulous hair. : )

Here is my lesson in making quick and easy envelope liners
1. Make a pattern from your existing envelope. I used heavy cardboard and traced around the outside of the envelope.
2. Trim the point of the envelope pattern down 1/4 to 1/2 inch (depending on how thick the glue line is). Trim the sides down 1/4 to 1/2 inch as well.

3. Once you have the pattern, trace it on the paper of choice. Lucky for me, I found lovely damask wrapping paper, and tessellated the pattern onto the paper. That way - you only have to cut 1 line for 2 sides of liners! I will post photos in case this makes no sense!

4. I used double-stick tape on a roll from the scrapbook store. Glue tends to make the paper buckle and can cause unsightly marks on the front of the envelope where guests will first see your lovely Save the Date!

5. Insert the tape-applied paper to the envelope, firmly press down, and fold on the pre-creased envelope line.

6. Voila! You are now an artist and have saved yourself from buying expensive pre-lined envelopes. Three episodes of Grey's Anatomy got me through the entire process for 100 Save the Dates - start to finish....good luck! : )

Who knew I would learn so much about envelopes?

I am constantly tagged as the "prepared" one in the group - the mom of the group who always has band-aids, tylenol, safety pins, etc, in her purse for anyone in need. So, it was no surprise to my friends and family that I took the job of wedding planning to be a swift process. Within 3 months I had 90 percent of my vendors secured, a tablescape, colors, dress, bm dresses, and the like. I prided myself on being able to find great deals with quality vendors and not mull over too many decisions, thus making myself go insane. Well - I have reached my first road block .... ENVELOPES! Well, Save the Dates, to be exact...or the envelopes that they go in, rather.

Back up: We recently booked our photographer Lisa Hessel and had our engagement session. I was blown away with the images and was eager to share them with our friends and family in the form of our save the dates. Easy enough, right? WRONG. Kodak had a lovely option for displaying said photos in their accordion fold card. We were so excited when they arrived in the mail last week, except for the fact that the envelope that accompanies the card is a "4bar" size, essentially something similar to the RSVP enclosures in wedding invitations. Seen here, at papersource.com

Now, I knew the cards were smaller, but with so many photos, I knew they wouldn't overwhelm our reader with giant photos of the 2 of us. I have since discovered that Microsoft Word does not print on any envelope smaller than 6" wide, and am now battling it out to get these printed with the needed addresses. If worse comes to worse, I will have to painstakingly hand address 85 STD's in my best cursive, ugh.
Thoughts? Is receiving a hand-addressed (non-calligraphy) Save the Date tacky? My mother said that all wedding correspondence used to be hand written, so it is in tradition.

Or - does anyone have any thoughts to save me from my 4 bar-sized-envelope-hell?

Can you fall in love twice...

with a dress, that is? Well, indeed I have done the unspoken deed of looking at wedding dresses after my heart was originally set. I am a firm believer in the fact that everything works out, so I am happy that I found dress number two! Thankfully, they are almost exactly the same style, and the same fabric (silk white), just slight differences that made me love dress number 2 more than the original. Let me elaborate.
I went shopping one last day with a BM to make sure I was ordering "the one" - and was fully prepared to put down my deposit on my original Bellissima gown that I adored. We went to a small, mom and pop bridal store in the middle of the city, and I really did not think I was going to find anything. I told the saleswoman what I had found, was looking for, etc, and out she comes with this gown that is pretty much identical to my first love! I tried it on and really did seal the deal. This new gown has a beautifully constructed bodice, a modern sweetheart neckline, and is completely ruched across the bodice, very va-va-va voom. Well, I needed a day to think about it - so I took my mother back the next day. The same saleswoman told me that there must have been a mistake in the ordering, because that morning they received the same sample gown again. They were going to send the dress back to the designer - but she remembered it was the size I was going to order! So - out I walked, dress in hand, with a 15 percent "sample" discount! Ha! Now, my second love hangs in her dress bag, motivating me daily to fit in my cardio despite the mounting holiday season. : )

That is my dress adventure story of the day! Now I just have to make sure my fiance doesn't go snooping for the next 8 months. : )

Drop and Give Me Twenty

Am I really the boot camp type? My dear friend and also newly engaged bride to be encourage me to sign up for Bridal Boot Camp – an eight week course designed to get us motivated to “Start forever in the best shape of your life.” Well, I have always been active – cross country runner and swimmer in high school, continued by ballet interest in college, and try to get to the gym on a *somewhat regular basis to date. But Boot Camp? Let alone bridal Boot Camp…full of brides, estrogen, and wedding woes, on top of our already mounting physical insecurities that society has thrust upon us? Sure, sounds like fun! Ha! Overall, I think this is a good thing – first of all, I am fully committed, since I had to pay upfront for the course. Secondly, I made a pact with my friend so that we would not leave the other stranded among many brides to be – committing me to the full 8 weeks of camp, and lastly, it falls the 8 weeks over Halloween, Thanksgiving, and concludes 2 days before Christmas! And I am sure we can all admit to the fact that everyone just wants to stay inside, away from the cold (lest you be a SoCal bride), and eat – no gym involved! Well, at least the hope is I don’t pack on the average 2-3 pounds that most say Americans gain during the holidays (put link here). So, with my gown in it’s dress bag, motivating me to boot camp sveltness, I proudly drop, and give my trainer twenty. : )

Has anyone committed themselves to a workout regimen over the next few weeks to avoid the holiday weight gain?

David Letterman has his Top Ten, and I have mine…

I could write a book on “The Top Ten Most Difficult Things When You’re Engaged.” Number one might be “Attending other friend’s weddings and being non-judgmental.” Why is it that as women, we are always comparing ourselves to each other? Even between great friends, when both are planning a wedding, it turns into a “well, she’s doing this, and I don’t want that…” kind of thing! It’s craziness! Otherwise well-behaved, kind, women, turn into these odd characters, critiquing blooms and bridesmaids at a whim when attending other nuptials. Well, I am trying to not fall into this category – but it is more difficult than anticipated! I suppose the only thing that makes it easier is when the two brides-to-be have differing tastes – then the comparisons are few and far between since no one is copying anyone, etc. Oh my gosh, I sound like a Bridezilla – but I am so not! I am attending what I so kindly refer to as “The Last Chocolate Brown Wedding” – meaning, that I am secretly hoping brides stop using chocolate brown like it is something new and completely fresh to the wedding scene, like it is a color that is completely usable through all four seasons (call me a you-know-what, but I contend that it is truly only usable for fall). I say this after I attended a wedding where three other weddings occurred in the various hotel ballrooms that night, and 3 of the 4 wedding parties donned chocolate brown satin gowns!

I have since started a new trend – I am reinventing black as the “new” black! No more chocolate brown is the new black – ugh! Black is classic – more brides should embrace it! That is my rant….I am done. I will now go put on my chocolate brown BM dress, be critique free of my dear bride-to-be friend, and eat some wedding cake!

Disclaimer: I do not wish to offend other chocolate brown brides – but it just seems every brown wedding I attend has been the same. I wish you reinventing happiness as you tackle your brown wedding if that is your color of choice! : ) I love when the old is revitalized with modern - so give me your best shot at modern brown weddings! : )

Avert your eyes....

One of the bad things about finding a dress so early is that you now have to keep yourself out of bridal stores with the fear that you might find another one you love, complicating the decision-making process. You have to flip through the pages and pages of wedding dresses in your wedding mags to make sure you don’t have an affair with another gown….betraying said first love! This is VERY hard! I went to Baltimore to visit with my FMIL and my 2 soon-to-be sister in laws, and we had to go try on the BM dress I had chosen. Well, when a bride is in a bridal store – it is kind of difficult to not try on wedding dresses! I tried on a few, and luckily only found 1 that was perhaps close to evoking the feeling of the original dress, but still fell a little short. This is good!!! Dress number one reigns supreme! I am not a fluffy, ruffle-y dress kind of girl. Sure, those dresses are fun to try on, hearkening back to the days-of-Disney-princesses, but it is not the modern, elegant, black and white wedding that I want. I want something chic, something just fitted enough to give it va va voom, but still tasteful and respectful of those attending our church ceremony. Also, the fabric is what sells me on the dress – it does not have any beading, etc, just this wonderful silk that is luscious to touch! Since we are having an August wedding, I need a dress that I will not sweat profusely in during the receiving line outside the church. Such requirements leave all the beautiful silk satin gowns out – because they turn my otherwise girlish figure into a recreation of Niagara falls, only with sweat! (Sorry for the visual). So, in an effort to remain dry and confident, we go with a lighter fabric, that is still pretty and will glow for a 5:30 ceremony.

More LBD's...Little Black Dresses - that is!

I found bridesmaids dresses that fit my vision! We are using Bill Lefkoff – style 874, and hemming them up to cocktail length. The tea-length dresses just aren’t as flattering as a bit more leg. ; ) I have had 4 of the 5 BM try the dress on, and the 5th I really don’t need to worry about since she looks fabulous in just about anything. : ) I will attach a photo – imagine it about 6 inches shorter (right at the knee), and with fabulous shoes.
Has anyone used these dresses before? Thoughts?

THE ONE!

I once heard the owner of Kleinfeld say that "Sometimes it is more difficult to commit to the dress than the fiance." I always thought this to be so bizarre - until you go dress shopping!

I found THE dress!!!!! One of my BM went dress shopping with me today, and 3 hours later, I had found the dress, veil, etc! I tried on a lot of dresses – but when I put this one on – I just felt like a million bucks! I am having a few alterations done – it has a corset style back, and I love the idea of a zipper instead – just a cleaner line. I am also using this amazing veil that will sparkle just a bit as the light hits the crystals here and there…. The store that I went to was amazing. Picture an old piano show room in a turn of the century building – there was this fabulous T-staircase with dressing areas upstairs, and wonderful, high ceilings with chandeliers, etc. The staff was extremely helpful, and not pretentious in the least bit. Though I love the Amsale, Melissa Sweet, and Vera Wangs on the runways, I was determined to find a dress for 2k or under, which is still a hefty budget! I found one that fit the bill – literally (sorry – that was corny).

After 3 hours of dress shopping – what do you do? EAT! We went to lunch and laughed that trying on dresses was the easiest thing I had done in a long time. Now, I just need to bring my mom back to view the dress and get her approval.

Moving on to bridesmaids dresses….I have a vision, can I match it?

So here's a proposal....and a LBD to boot!

Today was such a fun day! I asked my bridesmaids to be, well, my bridesmaids! I found the cutest stationary that was black and white with a damask print. The note cards had each girl’s first initial on them – how cute! I wrapped each box up with green tissue paper and tied with a pink bow, and voila! I also found the most adorable cards at Papyrus that had girls holding hands and laughing, etc, fun moments. I tried to tailor the cards to each girl – for instance, my Maid of Honor (to be) got a card that had a woman with this awful, gaudy belt on her outfit – the bubble above her head read “Is this belt too much?” My MOH is always the one I can count on for honest advice, so that was right up her alley! Anyways, it was a wonderful day – and everyone said yes! So now, I am not just a bride to be, my fabulous five bridesmaids now lovingly support me as well. : )

Being girly girls - they ask me “Have you thought of a color/dress?” They know me so well! I had already decided on cocktail length, chic, black dresses, with perhaps pink heels, and bouquets of white and pink with bright green/chartreuse ribbon wrapping the stems. : ) They are all thankful I am letting them wear black cocktail dresses (ah, the little black dress – LBD – how I love you) – and I think I will have happier bridesmaids in the end!

How did you ask your bridesmaids to be a part of your day?

Playing the part...

I really do feel like a bride now that my days are filled with google searches, vendor contracts, and yes, even a wedding binder! I recently ordered some test fabric from a few online warehouses – and I am deciding between the two. One of the fabrics is a cotton with a black damask print, the other is a poly satin with a black velvet damask print. I am leaning towards the latter – it is more bold and a bit more impact for the budget. Also, I don’t think the cotton has as good of a black/white contrast compared to the poly silk combo. I have now taken over my parents’ dining room, transforming it into the “mock tablescape” room.

Every other day, I have a new piece of fabric, or an idea for tablecloths, or place settings – so the room is fluid, and fun to play with! I have already apologized in advance for my wedding goods taking over the house. I have tried to keep the magazines stacked neatly in my room, but at some point things will bulge at the seams and I know I will need more than a corner – thus, the early attempted apology. Mom and Dad are just happy that things are running smoothly – so that is good! Stay tuned for pictures...

How about you? Where did you store the mass of wedding goods that one accumulates? Did they go to your hubby-to-be’s place or stay in yours?

Black and White...

(No this is not a Michael Jackson tribute, nor a tribute to those glorious BW cookies in NYC)

Apparently, I am not the only person doing a black and white wedding. Google “black, white, wedding, pop of color” and hundreds of pages come up with inspiration boards, photos from past weddings, etc. Today my friends, I found my new love…..damask! I now join the many damask brides out there, although I am joining the smaller sect of black and white damask brides, since the print comes in oh-so-many modern day colors. I found this amazing fabric that we will be using for table runners set atop black table clothes. The napkins are white, as are the chair covers, so that will be a nice contrast. The flowers I am envisioning will be half high and half low arrangements, all white. I actually saw low white floral arrangements made entirely out of carnations, and I am excited to try out a test batch at home! I love the way the monochromatic color works for a floral arrangement as it always appears very modern. We have an amazing family friend who is a floral designer, and I trust him completely! Hooray for design aspects being almost finished! : )

Let me hear from you – how did you fall in love with your wedding colors?? What was the inspiration? Did you just fall across it one day?

Learning my acronyms...OOT?

Alright, so when we last left off, I was searching for perfect ideas for the OOT (out of town) bags for our guests. I am going to do cute, personalized canvas bags that we used the Gocco to stamp a city skyline on. The bags are black, and the cityscape is white outline - how cute! Inside the bags we are putting a little “Bride and Groom’s Guide to the City” manual. We have worked for weeks writing short descriptions of our favorite places, getting menus from those restaurants, info for bike rides in the park, golf, sightseeing, etc. We had to tailor it too for our college and young adult friends, as well as our families with children that are coming in for the event! Phew! Also – we will put some bottle water, snacks, and perhaps a sweet or two! We are also going around to our favorite places and asking for coupons, etc, that we can stick in the bags. I am excited! Does anyone else have great ideas for OOT bags of goodies??

Now all I have to do is buy and learn how to use said Gocco....

The devil is in the details...

After booking all the major venues, I find myself now having the complete luxury to obsess over details…..just what will I put in the OOT bags? How many attempts can I make at creating a cute map of the city for guests? Can I find that perfect rehearsal dinner space, and an equally quaint brunch space for the day of? We aren’t having the ceremony until 5:30, so that leaves me the entire day to play with my maids. I have visions of a modern, elegant, affair, with a long cathedral train following me down the aisle as dusk sets in through the stained glass….wow, how pretentious do I sound? Actually, I have just always loved weddings that transition from ceremony to reception, and with summer sunsets being so late, we wanted it dark out for the reception. So, a 5:30 wedding it is! Plus, we can take photos in the park and golf course surrounding the venue, so we will not have to travel more than a block from the church to where photos will happen!
Who out there has thoughts on an evening summer wedding? How long did you allow for guests to go through the receiving line and then traverse to the cocktail hour? Did they straggle? Is 8 too late to serve dinner, if cocktails and appetizers are served at 7?

Chic for cheap?

Well, last time I blogged we were discussing the great guest list debate and quandary that is creating an invite list for your nuptials. My fiance’s family is large to begin with, and we have a significant array of college friends that we would love to share our day with, so now we are pressed with filling those last few precious spots on the 150 guest list. I know they say that quite a few off the list will not rsvp – but I am fairly certain we will have at least 135 to 140 off of the list rsvp. I am petrified of over-inviting, since every friend who is currently getting married is having a bulging pile of unexpected rsvp’s. I think at the most we would invite 160 and just hope for the best. The other factor, being, that my parents have generously agreed to pay the reception costs, and at 80 dollars a head, I do not want to take advantage of their generosity after they paid for the first 24 years of my life, college, etc.

So I enter the realm of DIY brides, and brides who are in the relentless pursuit of finding the best deal, that is still super chic, but budget friendly. Hopefully, I am one of many, and greeted with open arms. I see it as a sense of pride and enjoyment knowing that my fiancé and I will not be joining the ranks of uber expensive weddings, where money would have been better served going to a charity, house payment, etc, than on expensive florals and invitations that everyone (most everyone) throws away after the big day.

Well, we have booked the reception, the church, the photographer, the band, and I have found bridesmaids dresses, and THE dress – whew! All in two months time! I think now it is just up to me to make sure the little things do not run the budget up now that I have invested the majority of the budget in my must have items.

Thoughts? What were the things you set as your big ticket item for the big day? Mine: reception venue/food, band, and the dress…hopefully the list stops there!

Bouncer: I’m sorry, you’re not on the list…

Today we are tackling the to-dos for the wedding, and up first and foremost is the guest list……(dramatic music plays here.) I have seen many a couple be taunted by the idea of putting down on paper those most important to them, weeding out the “kind of friends” from the “really really good friends”….the “close, meaningful family” from the “couldn’t tell you how we’re really related” individuals. Ah, the guest list is something of a monster; kept at bay and given strict boundaries, it just might live peacefully, side by side you and your hubby to be…but given enough room and thought, it can expand and grow beyond your wildest dreams, reeking unforeseen havoc on your budget and wedding visions for the perfect day. The venue we have chosen claims to seat 200 – but 150 is a number that allows guests to sit comfortably, without tables butting up against one another, so now we are faced with the great guest list debate…more to come.

Take 9 holes of golf and call me in the morning…

Proposing to me was no easy job for my fiancé, as I am difficult to surprise. I am even more difficult to surprise when I break 3 ribs and am on a low activity regimen while they heel, with nothing else to do but hypothesize about my upcoming birthday gifts. (Nosy and pesky, I know). Well, P finally decided to get me out and active after the prescribed 4 weeks of rest from the doctor – with the perfect low key activity – golf! Ha! Having not swung a golf club for the better portion of 3 months and still slightly sore from the broken ribs, golf seemed like a ludicrous choice to me. It all came together when at the end of our game, he knelt down on one knee and pulled out my little blue box, asking me to marry him. Whew! He was thrilled when I said yes, as was I, and we were both excited to get in the AC after 2 hours of 90 degree golf! Since then, the planning has commenced, and we are lucky enough to have booked the golf club that overlooks our engagement spot – the 9th hole! With 90 guests (of 150) coming in from out of town, we are thrilled to share our memories with them near such a meaningful spot.

Damn you cliché, diamonds are a girl’s bets friend…when paired with your groom. : )

Hello to all my brides-to-be! This post is the first of many, I am certain, pertaining to the wide world of wedding planning. My goal is to make my engagement as angst-free as possible, streamlining all things wedding-related, so as to not drive my groom to be out of his mind! We are planning an August 2009 wedding for 150 guests on a tight 25k budget. My goal is to have a fabulous affair with wonderful food and drink, content guests, and a lot of love and laughs to add to the evening! Our main theme is this modern elegance with a pop of color. I love all things black and white – it feels very classic, perhaps Parisian? I also love the idea of black and white accented with pink flowers and some green pops here and there. Here are some inspirations that I am using for the coming months….